Wednesday, 2 December 2009

Healthy Living with Katherine Moss

I don’t know about you but when I’m looking for some healthy eating tips I always think, damn I wish I had the telephone number of a woman made famous for being abnormally bony, I bet she’d have some sensible dietary advice. I rang up Kerry Katona the other week when I was going through man problems and Madonna was such a help when I freaked out about getting obsessive and distractingly puffy faced as I get older, now here I am, feeling bad about having that donut, if only there was someone who I could turn to.

Kate Moss has got herself into some hot water (ugh just think of the calories) after flippantly remarking in an interview that nothing tastes as good as being skinny feels. Little mini Moss probably doesn’t follow the traditional food pyramid instead swearing by the lesser known cigarette-shaped Marlboro lights model .She is after all a supermodel; the average catwalker thinks that a sign you’re putting on too much weight is when you get your periods again so she’ll hardly be bleating about the benefits of your five a day. Also, it’s a bit hypocritical of glossy magazines to condemn her when her skinniness was the very thing that put her on their front covers in the first place. It would be like Hugh Hefner disowning Pamela Anderson for suggesting she was only popular for her breasts.

As for being a poor role model to young women, well knock me down with a lettuce leaf, Kate Moss is slightly irresponsible shock horror, next you’ll be saying I shouldn’t have asked Ronnie Wood to lead that marriage counselling weekend? If we can’t rely on celebrities to tell us what to do on who can we rely on? Experts! Pah, if they were any good they’d be on the front cover of “Heat” and until that day, I’ll rely on Amanda Holden thanks.

Celebrity is fickle, one minute you’re the bee’s knee next you’re the wasp’s sting. Poor Suri Cruise could do no sartorial wrong until recently then all of fashion world were lining up to take the four year old down just for wearing high heel shoes. Think of the damage it’s doing to her feet, they shrieked, imagine the irredeemable change to her posture, they warned. Considering her mother is slowly becoming invisible and her Dad thinks he’s the king of the aliens, Suri’s probably leafing through the glossies, fag in mouth, strong martini in hand, thinking, honey, that’s the least of my problems.

You see, it’s hard to recover from being famous at a young age, a bittersweet problem faced by X Factor judge Dannii Minouge.Despite starting out in showbiz first, she always seemed a slightly rubbish version of her older sister. Kylie was the blonde bombshell in sunny Neighbours, while Dannii was the surly goth in disaster stricken Home and Away. Kylie partied with Michael Hutchinson, while Dannii got hitched to the guy form Nip/ Tuck (actually at think that last one was a draw) Kylie span around while all Dannii wanted to do was have one blooming hit song.

After being bullied by Sharon Osbourne and completely overshadowed in last year’s show by the shiny new Cheryl, this year, at last, Dannii seems to be finally having her moment in the spotlight. Maybe the public are beginning to tire of Cheryl, especially after appearing in an ad for volumising shampoo despite the fact half of her hair began life on someone else’s head. Dannii is winning the battle of the outfits, each week striding on stage, like an eighties power dressing Nelson to Cheryl’s, big hair little dress again, Napoleon, every Saturday her Waterloo, her newly mobile face, released from its botoxed prison relishing the victory.

Still reeling from the loss of Jedward, then the world of music received a second blow this week, when it emerged that The Pussycat Dolls, the band that did for feminism what BSE did for the British Beef industry may have swung their final greased poll and sadly hung up their stripper heels for the last time. Reports suggest that the other dolls, Raggy, Blow Up and New York, grew fed up with Nicole, the lead singer’s constant spotlight stealing and showboating. Nicole has the highest profile in the group thanks to a relationship with Formula one driver Lewis Hamilton and solo collaborations with the likes of P Diddy. They also grew offended when the last two singles were described as featuring Nicole rather than just from the entire group.

I think they should bin the show- off and get a new lead singer, come on Dannii, this could finally be your moment! Unless Kylies free of course, or Cheryl’s interested or Louis has nothing on then you definitely have the gig. Maybe.

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